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Reforming Toxicity?
This past Spring, I read two books with a similar theme: women in the church, and a third book that brought clarity to both. I started with Bible Truth About Women: What They Don’t Tell You (Affiliate link). I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I enjoyed it. I got the hard copy and highlighted…
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Chapel Milieu
*This was my “about” page for Chapel Milieu. Although the name has changed and some content has been updated, this subject remains at the heart of this blog.* There are things that happen in life that profoundly change us. Breaking up with the American church, although I didn’t realize it at the time, has…
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The Training Wheels Are Off
You might have asked (or not asked at all) where I have been and what I have been up to. I noticed at the beginning of January, shortly after I started this blog, that for the first time in a long time (like years and years or maybe ever) I felt calm. My nervous system…
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Fallout And The Ruse of Spiritual Authority
My husband and I are currently watching the second season of Fallout. Have you seen it? The premise is intriguing; an American post-apocalyptic drama is set two hundred years after the Great War of 2077, in which society has collapsed following a nuclear holocaust. Lucy Maclean, a main character, has grown up in Vault 33,…
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On Scrupulosity
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18 I thought of this verse often, trying to reconcile it with my own experience. I knew God loved me, but I was entrapped in…
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Doug Wilson. A “No” For Me.
I can’t remember the first time I heard of Doug Wilson, but I think it was around 2020. I read several of his blog posts and eventually signed up for Canon Press, where I listened to many of his interviews. Initially, I liked his brashness (a little more on that here), but in different online…
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Will The Real Jesus Please Stand Up?
I walked into the women’s restroom of Church 2, and there on the counter was a little sign that read, “Close your eyes and say a prayer, because Jesus and Germs are everywhere.” “Straight in the trash,” I grimaced under my breath. How was this sign, that put Jesus on the same level as “germs”…
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The Wide Road to Christian Nationalism
“Christian Nationalism is a political cult disguised as a religious cult.”- John Collins There is a wide road that leads to Christian Nationalism. Let’s examine some of the roots, history, and belief systems that inform (what we know as) Christian Nationalism (CN) today. This is not an exhaustive list; it highlights some of the commonalities…
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My Preface to Christian Nationalism
Christian Nationalism became a topic of discussion between my husband and me when we started hearing a political ideology coming from the pulpit. I wouldn’t say it really mixed with Christianity in its orthodoxy, but it definitely used the right words…they just had a different meaning. It wasn’t mixed with it, because, ultimately, it seemed…
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A Gnat in Your Echo Chamber
I think about the judgment I’ve felt over the last couple of years from those I once considered friends, both real and perceived, and it’s painful. The real judgment has included things as severe as being called a slanderer, to things as benign as critiques on how I parent my adult children. I’ve been…
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Extending Gentleness
I can best describe this current season as excruciating. The only time I’ve been more emotionally low was right before my conversion. The only reason I feel better off now than I did then is that my hope is in the Lord. My feelings sometimes forget that, though, and I drift off into a ruminating…
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Loss of Community (Part 1)
I have many fond memories of Sunday mornings, looking around at the congregation and feeling a part of the Body of Christ, singing together, hearing God’s word preached, and reveling in the fact that all believers everywhere are connected to us. Thinking of the future when we’ll be able to see with our eyes what…
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When The Assembly Forsakes You (Part 2)
Disenfranchised sounds like too sterile a word to describe how I feel when talking about the loss of church community. But it’s the word that popped into my head. There has been more loss for me than just the church. We are empty-nesters now, my younger son moving out over a full year ago.…
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What is The Church?
From the time I was a child, I loved church and was there every time the doors opened because my dad was the pastor. I loved the services, singing, friends, fellowship, banquets and potlucks, celebrations, volunteering, and outreach to the community. I went from crawling under pews and lying on them in my younger…
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The Simulation
We sat across from the school superintendent with our two boys, who were in 1st and 5th grade at the time. We had been having issues with some of the teachers and the principal of the elementary school, and it had reached a boiling point. With only a few weeks left in the school…
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Always Reforming, Deconstructing, And Why I’m Not Progressive
“Always Reforming” is a popular statement and sentiment within the reformed crowd. What does it mean? We learn about that gospel and the life of that new humanity produced by that gospel in the Bible. Always reforming means always returning to the Scriptures to be changed and improved. It is a passion to know,…